What we are here for, though, is this: we’ve been enjoying wine all our lives, and probably without really thinking that much about it. So In Vino V is here to help us understand precisely why we’ve been enjoying it so much, to help us explain why - as coherently as possible – so we can educate those who are currently at the oenological stage we were at, long ago, when we first discovered the pleasures of the grape.
Sort of being grown up about our wine, as it were.
That doesn’t necessarily mean we’re going to start spouting the sort of phraseology winetasters seem to enjoy spouting – you know the kind of thing: “Sniff. Snort. Yerss, yerss - a rather good nose on this one … redolent of unripe cranberries liberally smeared in Vegemite …”
… and painted purple. Whatever.
In short, we’re not going to turn ourselves into that grotesque wine-tasting villain in Roald Dahl’s short story “Taste”. You have read it, haven’t you? You should – it’s a riot.
But we are, over the coming months, going to find out precisely what it takes to use all our senses to enjoy wine, and to put that enjoyment into words so we can share that enjoyment with others. And we really will be using all our senses, even hearing, when we discover what makes a great wine great.
But we’re certainly not going to spout in the literal sense – any wine we taste, literally or figuratively, we’re not going to waste spitting out. We’re not wine tasters here – we’re wine drinkers. And proud of it. So put that spittoon away – this is a practical column.
What else can we expect from In Vino V?
Well, it’s a bit late for Valentine’s Day recommendations (we’ve probably all got our long-established favourites anyway), but should British summer weather ever start inspiring barbecues, we’ll look for – and discover - the most suitable wine for al-fresco drinking, whether in the lunchtime sunshine or the afternoon downpour.
And when Halloween, Christmas, Easter and other annual culinary landmarks roll round, we’ll have suitable suggestions for every menu, taste and budget.
On a regular basis, there’ll be wine facts, fables and fantasies for our amusement, and quite possibly that of others we share our wine with …
… A look at selected wine-growing areas, together with a rundown on the wines produced there …
… Suggestions of wines to:
Sip in sophisticated situations
Swig when we’re being social
Guzzle while we’re giggling at the gogglebox …
Swill in the kitchen while nobody’s looking
… and slosh into the stew we’re cooking
… We’ll learn what can go wrong with wine and how to recognize it …
… We’ll find out which wine to serve with what food – and that includes foreign foods (spicy or otherwise) and vegetarian dishes. And as for your breakfast kipper? Chardonnay, Champagne, Fino Sherry or a decent Dutch Genever, of course. But as far as we’re concerned, sherry and gin at that time of the morning is taking a good thing to an extreme extreme …
… And how to order wine in a restaurant – not as easy as you might think if there’s several of you all choosing different dishes, but there’s ways and means to get round any problem in life. And that doesn’t mean a bottle each for everyone.
While we’re on the subject of restaurants, we’d love you to send in your stories about the wine-waiter from hell (or Tunisia, or wherever), but if they end in homicide we’d rather not know unless you’ve served your time. Send your horror stories to
But that’s not the only input we’re looking for here. In Vino V is your channel, not ours, so we’ll not only be swapping stories about dreadful restaurant experiences but also exchanging points of view on such weighty matters as whether plastic corks are better than screw-tops … or whether either alternative really is more acceptable than the bark that’s been bunging up our bottles for centuries now.
In fact, we’ll welcome anything you’d like to contribute on any subject, as long as it’s wine-related - all we ask is that if you’re writing in after enjoying a few glasses of everybody’s favourite grape-based product, you run it through a spell-checker for us first.
Truth in wine? Yes. Good spelling? Good grammar? Not that we know of.
Until next time … Cheers!
